At the young age of 78, my parents decided to pick up their lives and move from outside Chicago to outside Orlando. God Bless and more power to 'em. None of us kids believed it would ever really happen. After all they have been talking about it for a few years now and if I hadn't just been stuck in the car with them for the last 3 1/2 hours driving from Indy to Louisville, I probably still woudn't believe it.
Thats right. I'm helping them drive to their new life in the land of oranges, snakes and hurricanes. Wait. Did I mention the part about no snow? Yeah, there's that. I might be jealous about that part but, you know, who's to say.
I missed the first four hours. Probably the hardest part of the trip. I've moved enough in my lifetime to know that first step, when you know you are turning away for good, can be rough. For my Mom it's taken a toll. She will get past it. It's just that it's hard at first.
By the time they got to me they were ok, just tired and maybe a bit cranky. I kept smiling and loaded my stuff into the cramped car.
I kissed my husband goodbye, shut the car door and mouthed HELP ME before backing out the driveway.
And so it began...
"Dad, where's the GPS?"
"You don't need the GPS, Kathleen. I know where we are going."
"It's under the front seat." This from my mother who is wedged in the back seat with a vaccuum cleaner and 3 ft lilly plant among other things.
"She doesn't need the GPS. I know how to get there. 65 to 12."
With a little foresight on my part I had put their new address into the GPS on my phone. So, I fired it up. Yep, you guessed it.
"Dad, did you mean 65 south to 24?" I asked as I read the directions on my phone.
"Yeah, that's it. Hey Lorraine, remember that time we came here and I missed that one road and had to go out to Lebannon? What road was that? 32?" By this time we were at the Kroger getting gas which is basically across the street from my subdivision because the gas tank can not get below half.
So, my phone GPS is talking and then the conversation shifts. "My next phone is going to do that." Sometimes just have to hang on and go with the flow.
"Do what Dad?"
"Talk to me. I want one of those phones that talk."
"Yep, that is exactly what you need." I pulled out of the gas station and we were on our way.
My parents have this habit of reading the signs on the side of the road. I know you're thinking, yeah so? I do the same thing. Well, they read them outload. Sometimes they get them right and sometimes they get them wrong. I learned a long time ago to not correct them. Say for instance when they insist they saw a sign that said Public Library in a place you KNOW there is no library. After an hour of debate on the existance of said Library you might, say, have to drive them by the place again just to prove it wasn't a library. The sign did say Public on it but it was not a library.
As we cruised down to 465 and across to 65 South they talked about the last few weeks and some of the things they went through getting ready to move. I talked about work, Mark and the dog. We talked some of politics and the scenery. Mom told some stories of all the people she said goodbye to and all the addresses she had to write to once they are settled. Then I'd find out gas was 2.69 "down here" because there was a big sign telling us so. It was a nice chat.
Along about 5:10 pm Dad decides we need to stop at 5:30 to eat. We were just about to the Outlet Mall on 65. I said I had to pee so we'd be pulling over sooner then Dad saw the Crackerbarrel sign. Oh yeah, we were stopping.
"Yeah, let's go eat......find a hotel."
WHAT?!? We've been in the car less than 90 minutes. On their behalf, they had been driving since 9 a.m.
Suddenly noise from the backseat "Raymond, no."
I chimed in. "Dad, no way. We'll eat and get to Louisville."
He was tired but he caved. "Ok. Ok. I like Crackerbarrel. They have what I like."
Perfect!
Earlier in the day I had mentioned to my husband that I know they were tired so I hope they sleep while I'm driving. Like having kids. You love them and all but sometimes it's just easier when they are quiet. You know what I'm saying.
I was hopeful as I sat watching them both down a carb laden dinner. I knew it wouldn't take much. Turns out it didn't. But the best line..and there were lots...the BEST line of the night came at dinner.
From my Dad. "Kath, did you want your own room or did you want to share with me and Mom."
The very first thought that went through my head, and I DID NOT SAY IT (I swear), I can thank
a friend of mine from work for putting in my head. "Ohhhh, fuck no."
Thank god my filter was working. "No Dad, I'll get my own room."
That one earned a text home with something about selling my liver if need be.
After dinner they both dozed on and off it was quiet until we hit Louisville. They perked up then.
"Oh look, we are going to cross the Ohio river. There's no breeze."
I had to ask. For this one I was too curious. "Dad, there's no breeze on the Ohio river? How does that work?"
"Oh no. That flag over there isn't moving. There's no breeze."
There's also no library on ST RD 32 by the post office, but hey, maybe the signs will tell us something different.
8:30 pm and all tucked in safe and sound just south of Lousivlle.
Two rooms, thank you very much.
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